James
by Pantz
Summary: Love, you think, is the only reason to be alive.


**_Disclaimer: everything about HP books belongs to JK Rowling_**

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**_James _**(companion to Lily)

People always fall in love. You've witnessed it many times whether it was one of your friend's sort of puppy love or your sisters slow and lasting love, you've seen it happen. You've watched lovers sit by trees and drawn people kissing in the moonlight. Love, you think, is the only reason to be alive. Love is the greatest gift God gave mankind and to you love is extraordinary. It's rather ironic. You're a girl who is so absorbed by lovers. You read romance novels and dream of a Prince to whisk you away. When you were seven you planned out your wedding day! You don't understand it. You don't understand why you're so afraid to make the fall so many have made.

You feel his eyes on you all through History. You look away from your notes and close your eyes willing him to look away. You can never get work done while his eyes are on you and even then he's all you think about. Your heart screams at you that you love him and like normal you turn around and meet his stare. Your eyes harden and become cold and your pretty smile turns into a scowl. With a gnawing pain in your stomach you watch the sparkle leave his eyes as he looks defeated at his notes. You know what's going on in his head right now. He's wondering why you hate him so much. If only he knew.

You're not sure when you fell in love with him, when that transition was made. All you know is that one moment you were perfectly contented smirking at him and laughing when he made a funny joke. You were happy before the butterflies and before the heartbreak. You were happier before you were in love and that one belief is so contradictory to everything you've ever once held true in your heart. For you, love is supposed to be magical and satisfying. It's supposed to transform a cold world into a paradise, make a smile into a frown. You turn away from him with sad eyes. Love isn't supposed to bring you pain.

People think you're crazy. He's James Potter, they say. He's the Quidditch captain and transfiguration prodigy and next year he'll be head boy. They say he's kind and rich and extremely handsome and the girls shake their heads in disappointment when you deny your feelings for him. They think you're insane to not go out with them and at one point you would strongly disagree. At one point the hate he thinks you feel was reality and their praises about him were nothing but nonsense to you. Before he was arrogant and cocky and his hair too messy for you to want to deal with. But now, you don't even know how to begin to describe his perfections.

You glance up at the clock and start packing up your things. You slowly put away your quill then your parchment waiting for him to leave so you don't have to look into his painful eyes. Your friend, Sarah, comes over to tell you the latest gossip that she couldn't write in a note during class and you put on a brilliant smile while you listen. Your green eyes glisten and your skin glows and you look beautiful. You look like the epitome of beauty and the words about how a woman in love is always more beautiful never held more truth. Because you love him and no matter how much you try to deny it the facts stay true. He's your soul mate; you can't run away from that.

You get it completely. You're afraid. It's simple really. In such a short time he's come to mean more to you than even you and you would sooner die than watch his life end. You sometimes feel like you were put on this earth to love him, that the reason you breathe is him. That's what scares you, though, the fact that you love him so completely, so deeply. He's become you're whole world and you're afraid about what that might mean.

It's okay, though. Love isn't supposed to feel right at the moment it hits you. Love isn't as simple as the smile forming on your face after you get an "A" and it isn't supposed to be. Love takes time and effort and soon you won't be wondering why you love him, but how you didn't before. In time, everything will fall into place for you and instead of Marlene reaching over with a napkin to wipe the pumpkin juice from your chin, James will do it. Love, true love, will never fade, and when you're ready he'll be there loving you as much as he does right now.

End

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